Select Page

justfun25 (wonderful puns ** )

Wonderful Puns


 

  • Hugh, the blacksmith: Hugh saves the day
  • Shirley Goodnest: a sacred psalm reassures a little boy.
  • Kermit Jagger: a frog seeks a loan under very unusual circumstances
  • Poker chips in church?: surely not!
  • Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
  • A jumper cable walked into a bar.  The bartender said, “I’ll serve you, but don’t try to start anything.”
  • Two peanuts walked into a bar.  One was a salted.
  • A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
  • A man walked into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.  He said, “A beer, please, and give me one for the road.”
  • Two cannibals were eating a clown.  One said to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
  • Patient:  “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home’.”  Doctor: “That sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome to me.”  Patient: “Is it common?”  Doctor: “Well, It’s Not Unusual.”
  • Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.  Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning!”  “I don’t believe you”, said Dolly.  “It’s true, no bull!” exclaimed Daisy.
  • I don’t enjoy computer jokes; not one bit.
  • I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.  He claims he can stop any time.
  • How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
  • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.
  • PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
  • Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
  • We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.  I hope there’s no pop quiz.
  • I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
  • All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.
  • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
  • Velcro – what a rip off!
  • A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.
  • Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
  • The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
  • Be kind to your dentist.  He has fillings, too.

Click here to return to the Jokes and Puns Menu page
Click here to return to the Scriptural Jokes Menu page
Click here to return to the Main Menu page